Will Hell ever freeze?

You know how there are certain things that will never ever ever happen no matter how hard people try? Those are the things that will happen when Hell freezes over. I was approached with a suggestion that fit into that "when Hell freezes over" situations. The suggestion had been raised before and I suspect it will probably be raised again, so I did a little research to find out what the likeliness is of it ever happening due to the freezing of Hell. I was delighted to find this very scientific explanation that reaffirmed my comfort in continuing to avoid certain situations.

The following is a real question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared out it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (takes up heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs applying Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following :

"First, we want to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we want to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely accept that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that live in the world today. Some of these religions express that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can anticipate the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law expresses that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the equal, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls insert Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will growth until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate quicker than the growth of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we assume the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only A.