My Response to ClamCase Reviews......

on Thursday, March 10, 2011

I have a problem with people reviewing iPad keyboard cases. They always want to compare them to netbooks and macbook air computers. I don't know if google will read this response, but I hope that you morons out there trying to make these comparisons will eventually see reason.

These so called 'tablets' (still nowhere near as cool as the TabletPCs which have existed since 2001) are very useful satellites to your regular use machines. I can take my iPad (and soon my Android powered tablet) into a meeting and not have to carry my really heavy laptop and charger. Sure the macbook air is pretty light and slim, but I promise you that VERY FEW businessmen are issued macbook airs when they start work. They are given five pound DELL and HP computers. So even if the case doubles the weight of the tablet, it still comes nowhere near the weight and size of probably over 95% of the businessmen out there who would even consider bringing their ipad into a meeting instead of their computer.

So size and weight really aren't viable dispute points. Any case is going to increase the thickness of the iPad, but seriously... who cares?? My iPad is currently in a leather portfolio with a bluetooth keyboard integrated with it and it is still half as thick as my Day Planner ever was and just as thick as my leather notebook portfolio. Size really isn't an issue here. It's not like we are comparing something slim like an iPhone to the old brick radio phones of the 1980's or something. So what if it turns out to be a whole INCH THICK!!! What will we do?!?!?!?!? The fact is, the iPad is too fragile to be without protection. The aluminum back will dent and scuff just by looking at it. The screens of iPhones are known to shatter on impact regardless of your screen protector, so that is another area which warrants protection. Don't call me crazy just because I'm smart enough not to care that my sexy slim iPad is encased in protective padding.

So get over it Apple fans. I know you are all trying to overcompensate for something, but size really doesn't matter. I don't know what you could be trying to compensate for by trying to get the smallest and slimmest toys around, but that's none of my business. You need to forget your 'form over function' ways that Steve Jobs has convinced you is the right way. It doesn't matter how sexy something is if it isn't functional. The iPad is not a functional business tool without a keyboard case. Well, not AS functional anyway.

A couple other points I've read is that the touchscreen isn't very practical when you have it in 'netbook mode' with a keyboard. There have been more than a few complaints that there isn't a trackpad to enable easier text selection. Wha?? Hey, go talk to Jobs about that one. Regardless of whether you are using a keyboard on the iPad or a bluetooth one in a case, the problem is the same. The iPad sucks at selecting text. If you are going to take shots at something, at least take shots at something it impairs over regular operation. The keyboard cases don't impair anything. Besides, I can count on one finger how many times I've needed to select text when I am in serious typing mode.

Another ridiculous point is that you can't use the keyboard with the iPad in portrait mode. Again, WHA??? Ok, so the Zaggmade let's you do that, but the Zaggmate also just has the iPad sitting on a stand with nothing holding it down. Try typing with that on a plane and watch your ipad fall into your lap every time the guy in front of you moves in his seat. For one, not having the iPad secured in whatever case it is using is a bad idea. The Zaggmate leaves the back of the iPad completely exposed when it is face down in the case. Two piece keyboard cases are not for me. Anyway, the point is, HOW MANY APPS REQUIRE YOU TYPE IN PORTRAIT MODE??? I don't know of any. In fact, not once have I ever wished I could type in portrait mode. That is a mode designed for when your iPad is NOT in a case and you want to type with your thumbs. If you have a keyboard, then you wouldn't want to use it that way anyway.

So here are the main points:

Weight: It doesn't matter that it is heavier than an iPad when you use the ClamCase or any keyboard case. The iPad is still lighter than the computer most people use anyway. Let's not forget how SMALL a population the macbook users really are.

Size: IT DOESN'T MATTER. The iPad, even with a case, is still slimmer than most laptops. I've never seen a case which bulks it up so much that it becomes a problem. Sure it is going to make it thicker, but it doesn't have to be paper thin to be functional. Sometimes things are less functional when they are smaller.

Touch Screen: The iOS has the same problems regardless of what kind of case it is in. No you can't use a mouse with it, no your keyboard won't have a trackpad, and no it is still going to suck to select text with your finger regardless of your case. Don't blame the shortcomings of the iOS on the peripherals. I wouldn't write a novel on the iPad or edit performance evaluations for a team of 20 or something, but it is perfect for those times when you need to take notes or update a document without dragging out the laptop. Sure, it has its limitations, but it works in a pinch. And having a keyboard on it is just about mandatory if you plan on doing any real work on it.

Use in Portrait mode: Please... Someone please give me ONE example of when you need to type in portrait mode and yet still have the space to pull out a keyboard. I've never been in that situation. These people who spend a hundred bucks on a keyboard and yet still type with it in portrait are like blind people who have been given sight and still walk around with their cane in front of them. Quit being stupid.

So the bottom line is that if you are using your iPad as an overgrown iPod, then screw you and your opinions on keyboard accessories. You know nothing. If you are trying to compare your iPad to your macbook, then screw you too. You aren't the target market for this product. And if I hear one more person say that it won't be compatible with the iPad 2 I think I'm going to be sick. The hugest SCREW YOU ever goes out to you. So what if it doesn't fit? They'll just make another one for that model. Do you bitch that the case for your iPhone 3G doesn't work for your iPhone 4? No, you just go buy a new one. DUH!!! You people can be so stupid sometimes... And you wonder why Apple product users are stuck with the stigma of being the dumbest people ever. I have an iPad because there wasn't anything in the Android market that compared when I bought it, but now there is. You better believe that the iPad will be replaced by an Android tablet soon enough and then I won't have to listen to you morons whine about things you know nothing about. ...IDIOTS!