You have to watch these. Seriously... Take the time and watch them. This is how low we have sunk in our definition of 'entertainment'. We rave and shout for movies that are absolutely terrible and would have gotten you a big fat F in film school. We are dazzled by special effects and computer wizardry, but when it comes to the actual fundamentals of film making, we just don't give a shit anymore. Watch and learn!
| Liquid | Container Size (ounces) | Price per Container | Price Per Gallon |
| tap water | 41708928¹ | $120.00 | $0.00 |
| Folgers Coffee (black)² | 998.6 | $5.50 | $0.70 |
| unleaded gasoline | 128 | $3.06 | $3.05 |
| Kool-Aid² | 256 | $3.69 | $1.85 |
| Clorox bleach | 128 | $2.20 | $2.20 |
| lowfat milk | 128 | $3.79 | $3.79 |
| automotive antifreeze | 128 | $4.19 | $4.19 |
| Coffee Mate | 64 | $2.77 | $5.54 |
| Carlo Rossi blush wine | 135.6 | $5.99 | $5.65 |
| egg (chicken) | 2 | $0.09 | $5.76 |
| Evian spring water | 33.8 | $1.69 | $6.40 |
| Coca-Cola syrup | 640 | $40.99 | $8.20 |
| Budweiser | 12 | $0.83 | $8.88 |
| Windex | 67.6 | $5.39 | $10.21 |
| Pentrex plant fertilizer | 128 | $12.95 | $12.95 |
| Hershey's chocolate syrup | 24 | $2.48 | $13.23 |
| Kikkoman soy sauce | 40 | $4.79 | $15.33 |
| latex house paint | 128 | $16.50 | $16.50 |
| Jamba Juice | 22 | $3.75 | $21.82 |
| Liquid Nails | 10.5 | $1.97 | $24.02 |
| Soup Peddler Soup (delivered) | 32 | $7 | $28 |
| Red Bull energy drink | 8.3 | $1.99 | $30.69 |
| Armor All | 16 | $3.99 | $31.92 |
| Head & Shoulders shampoo | 25.4 | $7.49 | $37.74 |
| Rain X | 16 | $4.99 | $39.92 |
| Absolut Vodka | 59.3 | $26.99 | $58.26 |
| Roundup herbicide | 320 | $158.00 | $63.20 |
| grapeseed oil | 30.4 | $16.50 | $69.47 |
| Renu contact lens solution | 12 | $7.69 | $82.03 |
| Tabasco sauce | 5 | $3.69 | $94.46 |
| Robitussin DM | 12 | $10.29 | $109.76 |
| fresh squeezed wheat grass | 2 | $1.95 | $124.80 |
| vanilla extract | 8 | $7.99 | $127.84 |
| Liquid Paper | 0.6 | $0.93 | $198.40 |
| scintillation cocktail | 132 | $216.00 | $209.45 |
| Penicillin | 8.47 | $19.95 | $301.49 |
| Punky Colour hair dye | 3.5 | $8.95 | $327.31 |
| patchouli oil | 8 | $50.40 | $806.40 |
| Cover Girl nail polish | 0.4 | $2.79 | $892.80 |
| human blood (processing fee)³ | 16.9 | $200.00 | $1,514.79 |
| GHB | 1 | $20.00 | $2,560.00 |
| black ink from an ink cartridge | 1.42 | $29.97 | $2,701.52 |
| mercury | 11.52 | $309.00 | $3,433.33 |
| insulin (Humulin L) | 0.34 | $25.00 | $9,411.76 |
| Chanel No.5 perfume | 1 | $200.00 | $25,600.00 |
| LSD | 0.125 | $120.00 | $122,880.00 |
| Thailand cobra venom² | 0.67 | $800.00 | $152,835.82 |
| scorpion venom² | 0.0067 | $2.034.00 | $38,858,507.46 |
Operators of Web site dedicated to those who seek social-media death with dignity say that Facebook is taking a more Hippocratic approach to the idea of killing one's online identities with a few keystrokes. They say the social-networking giant has killed off their access to Facebook.
Called Web 2.0 Suicide Machine, the site's pitch goes like this: "Tired of your Social Network? Liberate your newbie friends with a Web2.0 suicide! This machine lets you delete all your energy-sucking social-networking profiles, kill your fake virtual friends, and completely do away with your Web2.0 alter ego. The machine is just a metaphor for the Website which moddr_ is hosting; the belly of the beast where the web2.0 suicide scripts are maintained. Our service currently runs with Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and LinkedIn! Commit NOW!"
The "machine" is the brainchild of Moddr, "your 'unfriendly' neighborhood medialab" located in Rotterdam.
Facebook, at least, is apparently not amused (make that seriously not amused; see Facebook statement in update below, plus Suicide Machine's response in Update 2), as this message appears on the Suicide Machine Web site this morning:
After more than 50,000 friends being unfriended and more than 500 forever "signed-out" users, Facebook started to block our suicide machine from their servers without any comment! We are currently looking in ways to circumvent this ungrounded restriction imposed on our service!
Thanks for your understanding
Sincerely,
Your 2.0 suicide team
If you'd like to get a better understanding of the philosophy and technology behind this online Dr. Kevorian, check out this promotional video:
web 2.0 suicide machine promotion from moddr_ on Vimeo.
In the meantime, I've contacted the Facebook public relations department to see if I can get confirmation and an explanation.
(Update, 12:50 p.m.: Here's the statement I just received from a Facebook spokesperson: "Facebook provides the ability for people who no longer want to use the site to either deactivate their account or delete it completely. Web 2.0 Suicide Machine collects login credentials and scrapes Facebook pages, which are violations of our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. We've blocked the site's access to Facebook as is our policy for sites that violate our SRR. We're currently investigating and considering whether to take further action.")
(Update 2, 1:30 p.m. Gordan Savicic, billed as the Suicide Machine's chief euthanasia officer, says that his organization has yet to hear directly from Facebook, but he has plenty to say about Facebook's statement to me.
"I guess they are waiting (to see) if we'll circumvent their restriction. We are working on exactly that right now," he says in an e-mail.
Asked if they are violating the Facebook terms, Savicic replies:
"No, not from our point of view. We are just offering a service to users who want to drop out of Facebook. According to Facebook's terms of service, they should actually not threaten us but the people who commit suicide -- 'You will not share your password, let anyone else access your account, or do anything else that might jeopardize the security of your account' http://www.facebook.com/terms.php?ref=pf -- And again, we are neither 'hacking' into their servers, nor scraping their pages. We only store the profile picture and the name of the user! This is actually possible without even logging into Facebook."
As for Facebook's hint at further action?
"We are very excited to investigate further on what they actually meant!")
Part 2
Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all;
a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.
(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)
Do you like to play those simple FLASH games that are all over the internet? Are you any good at any of them? I would like to invite you to a social network that is having a really fun contest from October 14 through November 13. It is a games contest and the prizes are cash. The games are exactly those easy FLASH games that you have seen a thousand times before, so this should be a walk in the park for you!
CLICK HERE TO SIGNUP NOW!!
The contest is simple. There is a category in the Echo Arcade called "October Contest". There are 50 games in this category that you can play. At the end of the contest we will award $50 to the high score winner of each game. Here is the great part... You can win up to 3 of the high scores, so there is the potential of winning $150 in just that. The other great part is that anybody you invite to this social network who wins one of the $50 prizes, you will also be rewarded with $30 for referring them to begin with. You see, Echoloops is the first incentivized social network and is going to change the way social networks behave in the future. This contest serves a couple purposes for us. One is that it has the potential to draw in thousands of people to play the games and compete in the contest for the prize money. Secondly, it also shows how incentivized social networks should work. There is change coming in the social network world and we have seen it coming with the changes that Facebook and other sites have been making to their user agreements and terms of service. Echoloops is a new social network that is continuing to evolve, but promises to be THE big thing in social networks in the coming months.
Game Contest:
· $50 for the person with high score on selected 50 games (maximum win of three times)
· $30 for the person who brought in the high score winner (no limit to how many you can win)
· $20 for the person who brought them in (no limit on how many you can win)
· $500 to the person with the most high scores at end of month
Echoloops Recruiting Contest:
· $100 for person who brings in the most people into Echoloops EACH WEEK!! (weeks go from Sunday through Saturday beginning on October 14, so that first week is the best chance to win for you! Get your invites ready!)
· $300 for person who brings in most people for the term of the contest
· $200 for the 2nd place recruiter for the contest
· $100 for the 3rd place recruiter of the contest
CLICK HERE TO SIGNUP NOW!!
Again, this is just a one month contest to play some games and get rewarded for it. I can also tell you that huge things are in the works for Echoloops. At the end of this contest you will see some major changes to the look and feel of Echoloops. The third reason for this contest is to have as many eyes on the site as possible when we implement some great things into the site that will cause you to think twice when you send an invite out for another social network. We want to give everybody a reason to make Echoloops their new home. You'll want to be involved in what we are going to be doing!
If you want to check out the site first and then signup, that is cool. Just remember to either come back to this email and click the link to signup so I can get my $30 when you win first place in a couple games, or use the invite code SE239745 when you click the SIGNUP button on www.Echoloops.com. This is actually a referral coming from my Dad's account since I actually work for the company that owns Echoloops. It actually isn't a problem for me to win prizes based on referrals or even by playing the games myself, but I thought it would be a nice surprise for my dad if he won some money after providing moral support as I've been working to get this company off the ground for the last few months. :) So play hard and get some scores posted!!
Full rules for the contest will be posted on Echoloops as well as http://blog.mondelis.com on October 14th, so keep an eye out for that.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy the games and that you refer lots of people to the site!
Hi,
First of all, you are fat. You are ugly. Your breath stinks. You are unpopular. Your car sucks. Your house sucks. Your life sucks.
You are not witty. You are not smart. You are ignorant. You are stupid. You don't speak any other language and you can't operate a computer. You will never make it in this world. You are unpopular. You will never amount to anything. You are nothing.
Your diet is poor. You have low self-esteem. You have cellulite. You have ugly toenails. You have blackheads. You have body hair where it just shouldn't be. Your eyeballs are not white enough. Your teeth are not white enough.
Secondly, you are fat. You should go on a diet. You should eat more hamburgers. Your tits are not big enough. Your tits are too small. Your tits aren't small enough or big enough. Your dick is too small. Your nose isn't right. Your arse is too big. You should make yourself sick. You should eat more hamburgers.
Your dress sense sucks. You have no style. You are one of the crowd. You are a follower. You are a freak. You don't fit in. You are a lah-hoo-ser. You have no charisma. You are not sexy enough. Your favorite band sucks. Your favorite brand sucks. Your clothes suck. Your shoes suck. You are retarded.
You don't have enough money. You should work harder. You don't have enough things. You are unhappy. You need more. You are unsatisfied. You are not moving forward. You are not keeping up the pace. You are lagging behind. You are one step behind the rest.
You are doing it all wrong. You need to change. You need to see that change is good. You need to follow us. You need to be individual. You need to fit in. You need to think outside the square. You need to stand out. You need to know the rules. You need to know the secrets. You should be yourself.
Thirdly, you are fat. Your legs wobble too much. Your teeth are crooked. Your face is wrong. You are not thin enough. You are too thin. You need to eat more hamburgers.
You are lactose intolerant. You are iron deficient. Your cholesterol is too high. Your calcium level is too low. Your blood pressure is too high. Your iron level is too low. You need to get liposuction. You need to lose weight. You are far too dependant on drugs. You need to buy more drugs.
You are bipolar. You have attention deficit hyperactive disorder. You have post-traumatic stress disorder. You suffer from depression. You are manic. You are not happy enough. You suffer from road rage. You suffer split-personality disorders. You suffer marriage problems. You are not right. You need to buy more drugs.
You should stop smoking. You should buy more cigarettes. You should stop smoking. You will get cancer. You will die anyway. You should have fun. You shouldn?t have fun. You should be fashionable. You should keep ahead. You are lagging behind. You should be individual. You shouldn?t care about what you do. You are free. You should go your own way. You should follow us.
You watch too much television. You need to stay tuned. You are fat because you watch too much television. You should watch more television. You should be individual. You are going to be a star one day. You are nothing. You should eat more hamburgers. You should drink more syrup. You are too fat.
You should not be who you are. You have to change.
My name is Marketing.
Now buy my freakin' product!
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